Bohemian Ray of Sunshine

I feel lost in the sea of possibilities, seeing the wild waves crawl upon me, as I try to illuminate my hollows into depth of untouched sparks waiting to ignite within. I collect the sea shells- "What does it even mean?" I decode, encrypt & decode. Is it love or hope? I'll simply spring, crushing the autumn leaves, trespassing the road less trodden. I make typos and then lace them into muses; thousand cuts and a  teardrop on my ukelele, that's what I'm composed of- a million ill spelt metaphors and ink. :)

Wish I could tell you that I still miss you but; I don't have any more answers. Just like you, I have the same questions, clenched tightly in my fists. Wish I could read you my poems to hear your cheers. Bike around with you behind me scared to break a leg. I still love you the same way- but different courses. Just like the first time we met, We sort of just clicked. Sometimes I feel you longing and tell my siblings how great that time was!  It's still great, greater but ... There was for sure- something between us. The way be clicked, The way things glided, It was smooth. Never as rugged as today. But yes I miss you. The space between us is healthy but deadly. I smile whenever I think of you Do you too? For I wish I could tell you that I miss you. (probably not to be continued)   (pc- Pinterest)

I miss sharing songs, being your mom, sis, bff, all at the same time. I miss the way you made me feel, the person you transformed me into. I miss your warmth and your tender cold fingertips. I didn't like holding hands; yes! you were an exception. Wish I could tell you that I miss you, writing muses for you and scaling our heights while you struggled resting your elbow over my shoulders. I miss looking at your face crowed with pimples and silliness. Like a small child you stuck with me  through all times. Wish I could tell you that I miss the times we fought over who'd pay next and then choosing the flavour of chips to taste next. I miss the telepathy we shared and the synchronisation we felt. I miss you- or atleast a part of you. Feels like hugging you with salty numb eyes & not releasing my grip. Wish I could tell you that I miss you. I dreamt of you last fortnight. In a parallel universe, we were still together. You asked me to stay, and I stayed. You told me to not leav...

 I miss sharing songs, being your mom, sis, bff, all at the same time. I miss the way you made me feel, the person you transformed me into. I miss your warmth and your tender cold fingertips. I didn't like holding hands; yes! you were an exception. Wish I could tell you that I miss you, writing muses for you and scaling our heights while you struggled resting your elbow over my shoulders. I miss looking at your face crowed with pimples and silliness. Like a small child you stuck with me  through all times. Wish I could tell you that I miss the times we fought over who'd pay next and then choosing the flavour of chips to taste next. I miss the telepathy we shared and the synchronisation we felt. I miss you- or atleast a part of you. Feels like hugging you with salty numb eyes & not releasing my grip. Wish I could tell you that I miss you. I dreamt of you last fortnight. In a parallel universe, we were still together. You asked me to stay, and I stayed. You told me to not le...

Wish I could tell you that I miss you, whenever it's 3 am I think of our highest record, talking endlessly-  wirelessly. I remember the time crying over your tiny scapula happy to share with you hollowed secrets of mine, uprooted from the deepest grave. Wish I could tell you that I miss you whenever I see us in polaroids- that same room which used to echo with our giggles didn't belong to me anymore. I see the same faces, worried, Do they hate me now? Behind the innocent confused subtle smile, I wish I could tell you that I dream of home where I no longer belonged. Wish I could tell you that I miss  the spark in those golden brown eyes. I enjoyed the looks you gave when I messed up your curly cascade hairs. I miss listening to your chaotic life's dramas. from the boy who flirted to how somebody misunderstood you, again; As I was your instant solution remedy. Wish I could tell you that I miss  your presence in the dim room of mine- where we laid with our shadows forecasted...

You were a liar when you held my hand and kissed it subtly. Your lips lied swallowing all the pain inside pressed behind the dry walls of your throat. You lied every night holding me in your arms, becoming something you were not at all. All you said that you were fine- bewitched your own hazel eyes to not reflect the pain which you hid inside your stiff ribs. I didn't know, How you suffered every night? And found every single peice of yourself only to make a complete new shining you coated with sweet syrup and blunt eyes. Now, I'm close enough to see  crystal clear all the  gaping wounds stretched over your body. You tried stitching them-  behind every lie All I knew before You were a liar! You were only a liar. Planting deep seeds of secrets, now I know the real you were lonely: the scars which burnt inside of you and expanded until you were a deserted little secret, isolated in your own experiences but; You lied about the wreakage, In those fake knight armour suit ...

So I had/ have this friend (better acquaintances) of mine and ofcourse we aren't that close and have never been. She was like one of those students, with big wide mouth making fun of teachers and particularly of everyone. Who would say half way through the sessions that she hasn't even made the notebooks yet and thought that not even flipping through pages of the book, not even before a few hours of the exams was - Cool. She probably had some kind of teleporting gift, you'd find her sitting at the back bench with her laughter echoing and then in a blink she'd be flirting with her girlfriends near the water cooler and that isn't enough because even if you would be filling your bottle next to her, without even eavesdropping you'd know she had chicken nuggets last night and how her boy friend thinks 'how hot she is' and you'd see her strolling, making her way past through basketball boys in the playground and even if the teacher would be just a few inch...