Hey homo sapiens!
Disclaimer- I had a lot to share but didn't want to break the flow so i haven't divided this blog into parts. I know it's a bit long but I bet it's worth your time. I'd be more than glad if you stick till the end but trust me for you'll learn something new today.*fingers crossed* So take a deep breath *c mon dude* and take a bit out of your time rather than randomly scrolling through phone. *winks*
Long time,no see. Hm? :)
This is an unplanned blog which I decided to write just a while ago. I was answering nature's call (hehe, the best place to get creative sparks tbh) and then i caught myself blabbering with myself. I do that a lot. It's nice and healthy, i suppose. Lately I had been wondering roundabout a few things. I had been questioning life, death, destiny, fate, past lives, karma and almost everything related to our soul. I have always been intrigued by such topics and then it's impossible to not do my research. See, I believe in god/universe and also in past lives. I can see it's v controversial but I just don't get it. I think you simply believe in certain stuff as if you are born with that belief as if no force can make you deny in its existence. Somethings are just the way they are and i think that's the beauty of those things like they know how to make space for themselves.
So yup, seems like I've got answers to few of my questions. I really find its depth admirable. I think life is all about exceptions just like organic chemistry. I had been researching through my own astrological charts, numerology placements,etc. I was (maybe I still am) on the verge of existential crisis. I just don't get the whole point of everything. (side note:- I am listening to 'stay with me by punch and chanyeol' in the background , and omg I can't tell you what a masterpiece it is. Its lovely. Woahh!!) Everyone (almost) sort of can read their astral maps and the whole path which their lives will trace will be clearly in front of them. They'll know everything to what careers they'll take, how their spouse will look, and even the tiniest details like what are the aspects of life which will be challenging. It's quite accurate tbh. I resonate to it like anything though I'm still not a prodigy in reading charts and don't feel the need to go to an astrologer- so i haven't gone deeper into those details of whole placements of planets and stars. But I always had this question that if we ended up knowing everything about our lives, will it not become boring? Where's the adventure and surprise then? No? (OMG omg- I was listening to a song and then it ended with the lyric 'always', do you know who it reminds me of ? Snape. Ahh Severus Snape!! Ok I won't cry again, getting back to the topic, hehe)
Think about it for a sec, if you knew who you would be marrying, and the moment you meet them, let's predict, you'll just know at that first sight that you'd marry them, god, where would be fun then? The whole process and phase of doubting your feelings, being unpredictable if that person has same feelings for you and then you dating them and then having a fight and then whole drama and stuff finally having a happy ending. The whole middle part would be so dull , no? I really cherish and adore the process of finding the light- that in-between part. It has its own beauty? If you don't find it beautiful, i bet you're really a boring person. Everything is art afterall, look at yourself. *winks* hehe! So yeah- i think I've done a good job explaining my point. (one day I'll buy a lifetime subscription of Spotify, these ads really kill the vibe, I won't let it though).
So yeah, I was also questioning that if things are really destined to be a certain way then we as an individual really don't have control ? For I'm a great believer of 'we write our own destiny'. Are fate and destiny same? I feel like a confused lad, haha. But I think I've got a few things which put me at ease and distinguishes a bit of fire of my curious soul. (Omg- I just saw 11:11, this is a sign for you my dear readers then- make a wish) *winks* So after wandering for a few weeks and internet surfing like a purposeless spirit, looking for something I myself didn't know, i happen to watch a k-drama web series- "Gaurdian- The Lonely and Great God" aka Goblin. It has unconsciously been in my 'to watch' list since a long time, so i just went for it and omg woah, i fu*kin ( I put an asterisk intentionally bcz one day I just forwarded my blog to one of my teachers to read and then i was like what the heck should I do now for I had used one vulgur slang and it caused a lot of mental storm, like what she'll think of me, haha, so idk if I end up doing that stupid act again. Though she didn't say anything, coming back to the topic again, haha, it's hard to write by not getting distracted but I think it's fun while you get a glimpse of how my neurones work, lol) love it. Oh god! What a storyline. *aggressively claps* Chef's kiss and it's music, my goodness, Chief's french kiss (lmao, I'm flattered by myself for inventing my own words. I think atleast I deserve so much, why Shakespeare should have all the fun *huh*) I'm so sorry, lmao. I should really stick to the main agenda. Hmm so before watching that series I stumbled upon a really good vid and I'll quote some of its lines below:-
"What if in such a big cosmos, in this huge universe, god happen to forget about us?...We know we are just the beginning- a blip in the universe's potential but the only way to fullfill that potential is to start making progress today. It's not a stretch to say that there won't be others like us. Random spurts of intelligent life spread throughout trillions of trillions of years but now we are at one of those stages where life is possible and probably the easiest is ever going to be. You get one life to do whatever you want. There are sometings you can't avoid like- school, lower, taxes but other than that you are free to do mostly whatever you like. If we can't figure out the purpose for coming to exist on this planet. If we can't figure it out how and why universe came into being then our purpose is whatever we want it to be. If you want to sit around and play games all day. There are people doing that. If you want to build a muti- billion dollar company that's going to propel humanity to other worlds, there are people doing that as well.
We all have to play with the cards we've been given in the best way we can. There's a chance that we humans may never figure out that why everything in the universe acts the way it does. For every answer a hundred new questions pop up. There's infinite possibilities as to how we came to exist but there's infinitely just as many things to do while we figure that out. There's dog to feed, people to meet, science to be done so no matter of we mess it up, if there's many more lives because in the end - IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER."
That's insanely satisfying, atleast for me. So it's really upon me what I make of it. Once a monk was aksed-
"What's the meaning of life?". He laughed and said,
"Life is an 'opportunity' for us to make a meaning out of it."
Woah! Since then I've really started seeing my Iife as a blank canvas and me as it's owner and it's all upon me to tear that canvas write away and throw it in dustbin or make use of its blankness. Sometimes to paint and play with colours or to simply see what colours do. Sometimes I'll mess some parts of the canvas and sometimes I'll end up making an unexpected masterpiece, who knows afterall? Unknown- has it own beauty *again, no?* And one more quote I heard from a beautiful movie I don't remember. My cousin told me this- (it's in Hindi)
"Bhagwan ke bharose mat baithna, kya pata wo tumhare bharose baitha ho?"
[ Ok- from here if you want you can search for goblin playlist and start listening from the first song and put it at a minimal volume so it doesn't distract you for i really like suggesting bg music to read along, i ain't sure of your music taste, as if I really care though. Haha! It might be irritating if ads pop in, do whatever you feel like ]
Can we simply give an applause to that writer from wherever you are? I wish someday I could dissect those wonderful screenwriters' brains and look in what's actually there. Hehe. (It's exactly midnight and my fingers are a bit stiff in this cold, I wish one day we could invent some gloves sensitive touch screen or something, haha) Ok so now I believe that actually destiny is really in our hands. You know what- 'there's no fault or prohibition in believing whatever we want to if it makes us feel comfortable and secure but as long as it doesn't bother/interfere/harm into other people's business else I think you are all good to go.' So yeah , must be thinking why I brought in goblin in between, right? Actually there were a few beautiful philosophies which I loved my goodness. *chef's god-knows-what-kiss* haha! I'm unsure who actually reads my blog, haha. Here I quote:-
• "God is just a questioner. Fate is a question he gives. We have to find the answers ourselves.”
Actually it's still a bit complicated for my 16.11 years old brain to comprehend fully. But I know one day I'll come back to this post when these all will make greater sense. But for now what I decode is - God doesn't have all the answers. Many a times we say that there must be god's will (he must be having something in his mind) for what's happening. (We struggle to find out divine will behind our hardships) Somewhat similar like the saying, 'Everything happens for a reason'. Well it's actually and truly upon us to find that reason. As simple as that and as complicated as that. Hehe. I found this so damn INTRIGUING. Do you as well? Ok next-
• "God cannot calculate or predict the sacrifices of humans, it is instinct that comes out in the moment and a choice made by humans (not God).”
Woahh man! You know at this moment I just wish to meet the writer of Goblin,tbh. Actually what happened in the story was that the destiny of a character unexpectedly changed and it was because of her spontaneous decision and instinct. It's v different than other dramas and one of the best I've watched so far. Again proves that it's truly in our hands- this whole concept of destiny. We reap what we sow. Next -
• "Everyone has a moment when God stays in their life. If someone pushes you back to life when you are drifting away from it, then that is the moment when God stays with you."
Yes, i believe this so fu*kin faithfully. What kind of sentence that was, haha. Have you ever listened of something like 'god possesing human's body' or 'taking its form' ? I would love to go in detail on this topic but I think I've really crossed word limit and my goodness if you've read so far, I'm so grateful to have you as my reader. *hugs* Like have you heard of incidents like 'i was on the verge of suicide and then something in me just stopped me or someone out of the blue came and somehow stopped?' Wait- 'near death experiences' are a perfect example to explain my point here. Now I see it's getting more about me 'proving the existence of God', well I don't intend for I'm really going w my flow and my intuition. I suppose that's what it's all meant to look like. Oh wait wait- one more quote popped in my mind. It was in one of those random short films I watched. It was about a couple who were about to get married but ended up having a fight then the next morning they patched up and the guy who was a firm believer in astrology said,
"We are together not because we're meant to be but we want to be."
some random sharings:-
And these are the reasons, my friend, why I'm obsessed w quotes. I love collecting them, like seriously, some people collect stamps, bottle caps, newspaper cutouts and i collect, restore and immortalise such pehonomenal quotes. Aren't they beautiful? I think I'm done. I suppose. My fingers are now tired, lemme move my muscles. You know what,my left hand is really aching cos of taking vaccine. *sadly pouts* It's almost 1 am now an I'm dehydrated now for writing continuously but tbh it feels so better writing after so long. I still have to proofread it before publishing. I love warm water (sign for you to get hydrated) and it's currently 15°C and my phone is dying at 6% , haha. I had a bit trouble dancing today for i was not able to move my left arm properly. I love the idea of seeing it after ten years. I hope you see that web series at some point of your life and listen to its song's playlist. Bcz ik if I'll put the list here- you won't like it at first instance because that's not how music works.
"When we get moments attached w music then that's the moment when it turns miraculous and heaven-like", said me.
I really like the idea of someone doing a research on me and my work just like Shakespeare's for no matter artists die but true art lives enternally. That's why I'm able to write sometimes,haha and also when I read school textbook stories (not boasting) i laugh at it and it pushes me to write more, haha, thinking I can write much better for they are literal trash so many times. I can go on blabbering endlessly so I'll stop this long blog here. I hope you are superbly immuned.
Take care,
Until then,
~tata
ps- I'd be more than happy to hear your thoughts so do comment ;)