mediocrity

read along music- Maybe Don't by Maise Peters- Acoustic Version

// I'm too scared of my own mediocrity. I don't dance for I'm not kyle hanagami, i don't write songs for I'm not as good as taylor, I don't run for i think my sides will hurt, I don't talk and share what I feel for ppl might misunderstand me. i don't sing for I'm not good at it. I don't be myself, what if ppl think I'm weird and crazy? I don't make vids coz I don't know much of it. I don't vent for I'm in an illusion of breaking my own reputation. I don't write what I want for I'm too insecure. I don't play chess for I don't want to make a fool of myself. I run from the things I want the most. I (we) have forgotten to do more of things which i actually love. So, there's this FORCE constantly reminding me to sing at the top of my longs even i sound off, to dance as if nobody's watching even if i keep on stumbling, to confess even if my voice feels shaky, to record even if i am far away from perfection. All of us are not good at so many things and are average in many aspects of life but that shouldn't stop us from doing the things which we actually love.

And that's when i learnt, i am simply scared to be a homo sapien. //

until then,

~tata

pc- Pinterest

// Nani //

Somtimes I don't understand how to express what I'm feeling, not to say that I'm not good at words, it's like...well...maybe we don't get words because it was not meant to express, it was meant to stay inside that four chambered sweet dwelling of yours. We are almost in the midst of September and I can feel the chilling wind piercing my skin, biting my bones and sadly I don't want to let go of my forest printed cotton shorts. *cries in the corner holding them* It will take me quite some time to get used to nylon lowers, into which whenever I flex my legs, my hairs stand like porcupines. Sadly my mommy will soon bury my favourite shorts along with other cotton clothes into a bag and hide them in the deepest darkest corner of our store room or cupboard. In the next summer, I can predict myself getting delighted at the sight of my old forest printed shorts only to realise it has become even shorter after completing its hibernation in the storeroom throughout the wi...

// friends with benefits // #32

So I had/ have this friend (better acquaintances) of mine and ofcourse we aren't that close and have never been. She was like one of those students, with big wide mouth making fun of teachers and particularly of everyone. Who would say half way through the sessions that she hasn't even made the notebooks yet and thought that not even flipping through pages of the book, not even before a few hours of the exams was - Cool. She probably had some kind of teleporting gift, you'd find her sitting at the back bench with her laughter echoing and then in a blink she'd be flirting with her girlfriends near the water cooler and that isn't enough because even if you would be filling your bottle next to her, without even eavesdropping you'd know she had chicken nuggets last night and how her boy friend thinks 'how hot she is' and you'd see her strolling, making her way past through basketball boys in the playground and even if the teacher would be just a few inch...

// deathbed //

Ok wait, hear me out. Before reading ahead, tell me do you want to have a better experience? I know you want, so pause- take a deep breath *take take*, one more and switch to Spotify or whatever music platform you use and play the music - "Warm Light by Peder B. Helland" in the background. *c'mon trust me and do whatever I'm saying*. Ok now you are ready. You may continue reading. I hope the music fits with this prose. *fingers crossed* :) I held the bits and pieces of whatever I had and tried to put them together hoping they would all complement and complete the puzzle of my indecisiveness but they never made sense. Like a senseless little earthling I roamed here and there, from the colours of blue and white snowy winter , to magenta and rich orange of dusk, I paced out from smoky black into the lemonade yellow on summer noons, all I knew I had to keep on moving, so I moved. I moved from the starry nights, inventing my own constellations of fantasy making sure I hid...

"THE SCENT"

As she waited by the shore With an expression long lost forelone Biting cold wind went down her nerves Still she waited on the verge The waves came n forth Touched her feet and there she saw— Under the moonlight there he was In the loneliness she smelt the scent Which belonged only to her With a blink their eyes met And soon their shadows got tangled Tears sparkled and kisses exchanged He handed her a pearl of hope A hug so warm and she fainted She asked the nurse,"Where he is? " "Passed away in an accident a day before" Chill went down her spine As she remembered yesterday's night Her gaze went on a piece of stone Inclosed in her shaking fist A pearl of hope was there beheld In that loneliness she smelt a scent Which belonged only to her As she flung the abortion pills Back into the dustbin It was then, when the BABY kicked! —riyawritings...

life lessons and philosophies on god

Hey homo sapiens! Disclaimer- I had a lot to share but didn't want to break the flow so i haven't divided this blog into parts. I know it's a bit long but I bet it's worth your time. I'd be more than glad if you stick till the end but trust me for you'll learn something new today.*fingers crossed* So take a deep breath *c mon dude* and take a bit out of your time rather than randomly scrolling through phone. *winks* Long time,no see. Hm? :) This is an unplanned blog which I decided to write just a while ago. I was answering nature's call (hehe, the best place to get creative sparks tbh) and then i caught myself blabbering with myself. I do that a lot. It's nice and healthy, i suppose. Lately I had been wondering roundabout a few things. I had been questioning life, death, destiny, fate, past lives, karma and almost everything related to our soul. I have always been intrigued by such topics and then it's impossible to not do my research. See, I belie...

Hope after Death? - a shory story

The pipe which was thrust into my uncle-in-law's stomach dreaded me. I tried not to look at him or more specifically the poly bag which was attached to the side of his stomach but curiosity often made my eyes flicker a bit in his direction. I saw fluid slowly travelling from the pipe into the bag. Her daughter- Priya tried her best to not let that gross feeling creep up to her face. Her younger brother- Anand was braver and also a great Chemistry teacher. He explained to her, "It's not what you are thinking. It's just the semi digested food which is not even going any further than his stomach." I had come to the rented house ,to deliver the lunchbox, where my uncle, his grown up children Priya and Anand, and his wife, Aunt Pushpa were staying for the time being while uncle was going through his chemotherapy for the treatment of Gastric Cancer. The dead silence in t...

is it healing or a lie?

It's not a mess but 'it' is actually no matter how hard I nudge it in periphery it comes back like a boomerang strikes my gut and look here I'm bleeding anew oh! let me stitch it 'one last time' again but tighter i promise today my hands shake with needle which says, "how many more holes you want to dig deep to call it healing?" silence screams silent screams I'm on the run what 'it' is afterall? help me to name it my moon's in sag my sun's in aqua there's an angelite near my pillow below the dream catcher and i sing before sleeping along its chimes, "it's healing, it's healing" it echoes and cries back to me "it's hurting, it's hurting" i sway the sword to fight back the cry "it's a lie, it's a lie" i reply eyes shut with tears it has to be a lie i sigh! pc- Pinterest

"HALLOWEEN NIGHT"

Spooky room In a haunted house Bloody eyes Behind the webs Dusty look with A smoky vibe Locked the shine Of a beautiful smile Which died A decade ago Yet alive; In search of her Deserted love, In full DELIGHT! —riyawritings (pc: ig- d_gauri29)

Dear younger self,

I know this year had been very hard on you. There were a lot of things I wanted to apologise for. I have seen that since so long I have been living for others, on other's terms. I'm sorry for pressurizing you to constantly improve without thinking that if it works for you or not. I have always dumped you under heavy load of tasks to complete in one go and I'm sorry for that. I have always pushed you harder everytime to prove your worth and seek validation from others forgetting that you are not at all liable to live up to other's defination of fulfillment and happiness. It's so damn okay if your defination of socializing, calmness and happiness does not coincide with others. I'm sorry for all the times when I allowed other people to crush your dreams into pieces, I'm sorry for all the times when I let them impose their rules on you, when I didn't stand for you, when I allowed them to burden you, when I blamed you for not being enough by comparing you to...

call me nameless

endings won't end you set yourself free there's beauty in this time, this place go wild for a while don't shine but burn like stars memories are priceless as long as you want I want the wanting we are made of star dust wandering in the cosmos you give me fireflies unlove me, please let me distract you all I need is me let me pass through the blazing fire I'll come out golden fight for fairytales let me unfold my wings escape the ordinary 'rarity' is rare you are someone to me an unreasonable request call me nameless leave me to my fantasy

Bohemian Ray of Sunshine

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